Gathering in the First Memorial Funeral Service’s cemetery is not recommended now due to COVID-19. (Kendra Crighton/News Staff)

Gathering in the First Memorial Funeral Service’s cemetery is not recommended now due to COVID-19. (Kendra Crighton/News Staff)

Grieving together, but apart: How funeral homes are handling the pandemic

‘Hugs are so important and right now hugs can’t happen’

In times of death, coming together allows many people to grieve but due to the pandemic, funeral homes have shifted the way services are performed and people are changing the way they grieve.

Trevor McCall, president of McCall Gardens, says Victoria isn’t “what you’d call a very traditional market,” with many residents opting for celebrations of life – which he says is more of a social gathering with food and drink – instead of a funeral.

“Coming together during a tragedy or a death and getting the support of others during that time is so important for the mental well-being,” he says. “Hugs are so important and right now hugs can’t happen.”

Since the pandemic hit, McCall says a number of changes have been made to the way services are delivered, most notable is the limit on the number of people allowed to attend.

In addition to the 40 person limit, most services are being live-streamed for those who can’t be there physically and catering services have been stopped.

READ ALSO: Vancouver Island hasn’t seen a new homegrown case of COVID-19 in two weeks

McCall says a number of families have opted to postpone their family member’s service until they’re able to have more than the 40 person limit.

“One of the families I served, [one person] made a comment – there’s no good time to die, but to die during COVID-19 is by far the worst time,” he says.

Ryan Mclane with First Memorial Funeral Services, says they’ve made similar shifts in regards to capacity and virtual services. Mclane says work is being done now to allow for people to call into zoom and have their faces show up on a screen during the service, along with implementing food boxes in place of catering services.

READ ALSO: Rate of unclaimed cremations related to opioid crisis triples in Greater Victoria

“Gone are the days where people walked up to a buffet table and shared a conversation about the deceased,” he says.

Staff at Dignity Memorial also wear masks and created new name tags that show a picture of the person’s face. “Sometimes it’s the facial expressions that show support and all you have to speak to the family now is your eyes and your words.”

Laura Van Sprand, manager of Sands Victoria Funeral Chapel, says technology has helped bring people together throughout the pandemic but especially in times of grief.

Along with live streaming services, people are being screened at the door and are asked to arrive in staggered times to protect guests and staff.

“The hardest part for us at the funeral home, is having the bereaved leave without the supportive hugs we have all become so accustomed to giving,” she says. “Everyone is so understanding and we show our support through heartfelt looks and kind gestures.”

Catherine Costigan, professor of psychology at the University of Victoria, says it’s important to have something that marks the passing of a loved one, although it might not be a traditional ceremony.

“[People need] something that allows the person the time and opportunity to honor the relationship that has been lost, and have some kind of concrete marker of this important life transition.”

She adds that while grieving is already an isolating process, the pandemic can make people feel “isolation on top of isolation.” Costigan recommends finding other ways to connect with loved ones during this challenging time such as letters, social media, or phone and video chats.

“To process some of that loss, even if it can’t be done in person, is as important as ever so, the challenge is to not let the current circumstance eliminate the ability to share with others in the grieving process,” she says.

As of the morning of May 25, Vancouver Island has confirmed 127 cases of COVID-19 and has seen 121 people recover from the virus. Five people have died, and though 25 have been hospitalized, only one person remains in hospital care.



kendra.crighton@blackpress.ca

Follow us on Instagram
Like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter.

Coronavirus

Get local stories you won't find anywhere else right to your inbox.
Sign up here

 

Grieving together, but apart: How funeral homes are handling the pandemic

Grieving together, but apart: How funeral homes are handling the pandemic

Just Posted

(Google Maps)
Sophisticated glass-removal crime returns to downtown Victoria

Several businesses on Fort Street targeted overnight, say police

Johnathan Lee Robichaud pleaded guilty to eight charges including sex-related offences against children and accessing, possessing and making or publishing child pornography. (Courtesy of Saanich Police)
Sentencing date moved for Saanich nanny guilty of child porn charges

Johnathon Lee Robichaud pleaded guilty to eight sex offences against children

Patrick MacMullan won $28,000 playing Toto. (Photo courtesy of BCLC)
Greater Victoria man wins $28,000 while watching football

Winning ticket purchased at Colwood convenience store

(File - Sooke News Mirror)
Man exposes himself to woman, children on Sooke trail

Suspect believed to be between 55 and 65 years of age

Health Minister Adrian Dix and provincial health officer Dr. Bonnie Henry head for the press theatre at the B.C. legislature for an update on COVID-19, Jan. 7, 2021. (B.C. government)
B.C.’s COVID-19 spread steady with 509 new cases Friday

Hospitalized and critical care cases decline, nine deaths

Lilly and Poppy, two cats owned by Kalmar Cat Hotel ownder Donna Goodenough, both have cerebellAr hypoplasia, a genetic neurological condition that affects their ability to control their muscles and bones. Photo by Alistair Taylor – Campbell River Mirror
VIDEO: Wobbly Cats a riot of flailing legs and paws but bundles of love and joy to their owner

Woman urges others to not fear adopting cats with disabilities

(Black Press Media file photo)
From arts to environment, nominate your West Shore hero

Nominations for the Goldstream Gazette’s Local Hero awards are open to Jan. 15

Seasonal influenza vaccine is administered starting each fall in B.C. and around the world. (Langley Advance Times)
After 30,000 tests, influenza virually nowhere to be found in B.C.

COVID-19 precautions have eliminated seasonal infection

Chief public health officer Dr. Theresa Tam provides an update on the COVID-19 pandemic in Ottawa on Friday, Jan. 8, 2021. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Sean Kilpatrick
Canada’s top doctor says to avoid non-essential travel as B.C. explores legal options

Premier John Horgan says he is seeking legal advice on whether it can limit interprovincial travel

Martin Luther King Jr. addresses the crowd during the march on Washington, D.C., in August of 1963. Courtesy photo
Government reinforces importance of anti-racism act on Black Shirt Day

B.C. Ministers say education “a powerful tool” in the fight for equity and equality

Black Press media file
Port McNeill driver tells police he thought the pandemic meant no breathalyzers

Suspect facing criminal charges after breathalyzer readings in excess of 3.5 times the legal limit

Prime Minister Justin Trudeau listens to a question during a news conference outside Rideau cottage in Ottawa, Friday, January 8, 2021. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Adrian Wyld
Trudeau says Canada’s COVID vaccine plan on track despite Pfizer cutting back deliveries

Canadian officials say country will still likely receive four million doses by the end of March

Jobs Minister Ravi Kahlon shared a handwritten note his son received on Jan. 13, 2021. (Ravi Kahlon/Twitter)
Proud dad moment: B.C. minister’s son, 10, receives handwritten note for act of kindness

North Delta MLA took to Twitter to share a letter his son received from a new kid at school

Most Read